Can you remain friends with an EX? This is an age old question. Funny thing about age old questions they are age old questions because no one has ever found a definitive answer. This is not a black and white subject there are some serious shades of gray (or just shady areas). When we say “I think we would be better off as just friends.” What we mean is “I don’t want to have wasted all this time and effort and come away with nothing.” It’s a consolation prize. “I’m sorry that Happily Ever After didn’t work out…but please take my friendship.” Who are we trying to make feel better, the other person or ourselves?
There can be so many factors in trying to remain friends with an ex, the duration of the relationship, how things ended, jealousy, the fact that neither one of you can actually stand each other. Sometimes the friendship is not imminent but eventually it all comes together and you do actually end up with a great friend…after they leave a dining room table in your work parking lot!
One of my good friends is an ex. He is my voice of reason for lack of a better term. He is my male perspective when I am going into “crazy chick mode”. The hardest part for most people to comprehend is that we dated a lifetime ago. No we don’t hate each other; we actually have a mutual respect for one another that is hard to come by in an ex. He is currently is in a long term relationship, they have a dog and just bought a house. We rarely see each other and are more like pen pals; our typical Monday morning emails consist of “how was your weekend?” Most recently he told me his Saturday night consisted of him and his girlfriend going to a drive thru getting shakes and going home and doing nothing. She asked him if this was their life now, getting shakes and doing nothing, his response…”yup”. He seems happy and I am happy for him. Am I jealous? Yes. Is it because I want him? No. Is it because I want someone to get drive thru shakes and do nothing with on a Saturday night? Yes.
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